Absent minded

I didn’t know it was Tuesday  yesterday. I didn’t know it until today and that’s why I had written a Wordless Wednesday post on a Tuesday. 😕 

Have you heard this lyrics from Minnale movie? 

Naatkal neeludhe, nee engo ponadhum… *

(* – days are longer since you’ve been gone)

I’m exactly in that state.. But my husband hasn’t gone anywhere, we’re in the same house, only not at the same time. While I’m in morning shift, he is doing night shift. He leaves by 4pm and I reach home by 6pm. 

After 4 years of long distance relationship, this past year was God given to me. We’ve never ever spent a single day apart.. And now it’s like hell. I talk to a sleepy B before leaving to office and he talks to a sleepy me when he returns back at 2am. I was desperately hoping it was Wednesday yesterday and thinking there was just two more days to go for the weekend. 

This has been a horrible week for me. I don’t  want to rant here, but off late I’m doing only that.. I feel weak, which is partly because I’m sick but also because I miss the male species of the house. 

Someone who is always talking nonsense, 

Who is always pulling me, nagging me to watch this n that on YouTube

who talks cricket walks cricket, lives cricket and makes my ears ache because of all those cricket trivia

who Doesn’t mind what I cook, whether I cook.. 

who is with me , no matter what

who doesn’t just cry for me but also cries along with me

You, yes, You … You are being terribly missed and I really really hope you get to join that stupid big ass company which hasn’t sent your joining letter yet and leave this bpo job and be with me, all the time.. 😭

Randomosity* at its fullest

* Getting ready for office – prancing towards shuttle in search of a window seat – trying hard, pushing , giving in my full strength in opening the window.. phewww…. I’m doing more physical work these days…

* Watching KKKG movie.. looking deep into the GREEK GOD’S eyes and wondering how come Suzanne Khan can leave him..

* Why is everyone around me getting married?? I feel awful being left out.. 😐 I do hope I don’t become like Rani Mukherjee waiting forever for ” I Do” to happen..

* Don’tcha think the Kochadiayaan songs – Bride’s promise & bridegroom’s promise are soo biased.. I mean I do love both these songs.. but the girl’s promise goes like, “I will not doubt you, even if the prettiest girls are with you”. But the guy’s promise never has anything as such 😛

* I wish my hair grows faster just like my nails.. Damn thing.. has never gone beyond my shoulders 😛 😛

* How many hours of makeup required for the oh-so-pretty-girl in shuttle to look oh-so-pretty? When do they get time to do all that. *sigh* I hardly find time to get up and take bath…

* I recently noticed in Instagram that on an average a girl shares 90% duckface selfies, or a pic of their chappals, or their morning coffee..

 

 

 

*Randomosity – word courtesy – Confessions of Georgia Nicholson

 

I swear I wrote this like two months back..  And also another post a month back, both mentioning Rani Mukherjee’s single status… n bammmm she gets married..

It’s worth the fight…

I sure am taking a long break from here. Crazy-corporate life or is it basically I’m a somberi 😛

My internet connection is ready, and I’ve made up my mind to write more often. I have loads of books to read. I just kept buying, but I feel so awful about them lying on a shelf, untouched… something new for me!! So once all my tests (yeah got 3 more) end on Oct 8^th, its reading time again!!!! 🙂

I was going over my previous posts, and boy did they make me smile… I had longed to come back to this city, and now here I am… working in a job I lurrve, living in a city that I had hated to bid good-bye. I feel blessed!!!

Pushing aside my marriage troubles, I heave a sigh of relief… taking a minute to absorb this.. I’m here… The only tiny (not exactly) thing that is bothering me is, it would have been absolutely heaven if he is here… But no…. let me not go there… God gives me whatever I desire, but it takes Him a lott of time, still, I get what I ask for in the end. So, that’s more important.

The joy of getting your first month salary… oh my God…. It’s so am-not-getting-the-right-word-here. But it gives me a self-satisfaction, a sense of pride, and I find myself in that place where I admire myself more for getting what I want. After all these years of studying something else that’s not related to what I had dreamt in school, I knew I would one day, sigh… a huge sigh of relief… like am doing right now. We had personality development as a part of our training, and it was then, these thoughts struck me. The trainer was soo efficient, so much experienced in her field, that she made me realize what and how much this job, this life means to me. I mean it wasn’t only me, she addressed the whole group. But those 2 days did make a difference. I had always felt like a loser. Yes, I had topped my class during college, but never did those things make me happy or give that satisfied feeling. There was something missing always. The trainer was actually talking about regrets in life and how we should be blamed for not trying enough to achieve our goals. Almost all of us in the room had said our parents had chosen what we should study and that was why we weren’t able to live our dreams. Jayshri  (the trainer) just said “You didn’t fight for your dreams, because deep down you weren’t ready. You were unsure where it might lead you to”. That’s it… I had tears welled up, ready to fall.. I wanted to tell her, no, I have been fighting and fighting, and then I realized, maybe yes… I was too scared to follow up. If I had been sure, I would have definitely said “NO” to all those things for which I regret now. I was not confident. I might have actually saved up a lot of years of useless studying of which I don’t remember anything now. But that pep talk, made me glow in pride, coz, among those present in that room, I was the only person who liked where she was, at that point in her life. All of them had joined IT because they “didn’t have a choice”. But not me… Hence the pride, the sigh and all the above senti stuff 😛

What we do and what we decide is based on how much confident we are.  Right now, I’m directing all that confidence and strength towards my fight for him. I know I have not reached that place yet, But I’m getting there. And i know its worth it.

 

                                                                                             source

 

Here i am!!!

I’ve been thinking for quite some time now…about how I should begin this post… should I greet everyone… Nah… that means I’m super happy, which I am, but no… Let me just start by saying, Yes… I’m alive.. 😀

To all those concerned souls, who commented on my previous posts, Thank you sooooo much.. Nothing much happened… No happy news to be shared on the marriage front. But I do have something cheery… I am an Associate software engineer now… Yup 🙂 I joined on 21^st August after a lot of struggle. It would look like a movie if I start narrating how things finally ended at home. Like the climax of Indian movies… Now that I’ve crossed that battle and started working, things don’t look that terrifying anymore. Rather it makes up a good story to tell my grandkids. That is, if I get married… 😐

One more year… that’s the time period I have bargained from my parents to let me work… I keep telling myself not to think about what might happen then, but no, my-obsess-about-everything persona takes lead. I don’t even wanna talk about the way he gets irritated if I start worrying. 

 I wish I could say something like this about me… at least someday ….

And mannnnn….. my office is super fantastic… and everyone seems nice there. Like I said before we have to clear 5 exams in order to become permanent. The first one was in June, and I managed to clear it. The next is on Sep 11^th. The day after my birthday!!!! I’m turning 25 tomorrow… sigh.. I don’t wanna get old… But the silver lining here is, my batch mates in training(they are my juniors, actually) can’t believe I’ve completed PG and that am their senior. Some guy said he could hear his heart break… HAHAHA…  I know my boyfriend would be pisssed… Yes!!!!!!

Did I mention I have rented an apartment?… Its soo much more fun and sort of matured, to stay on your own. My roomies are god-sent gifts, I guess… really good kids… No more hostel rants here….. 🙂

I expect that my internet connection would get activated in few days. Will post more and visit all my fav blogs after birthday and exam is over.